The Grace of God

             I’ve been hardened. I don’t see the world through rose-coloured glasses.  For I have seen little children’s stomachs round from malnutrition. I am no longer shocked when I hear of a man having more than one wife. I personally know people who are one of the wives of one man, with many children. I have held a dying baby in my arms just a few weeks before he died. It was cancer that took away this precious baby boy’s life. His father was left with other children but his wife died giving birth to this baby and now the baby was dead too. I have seen another baby, abandoned by his mother, three weeks old and 1.2 kilos. I’ve held another little one, who was abandoned in a pit latrine, and another in a bush. I have held the little girl who lay curled up and crying because of the light and the noise. For she, the 9 kilogram nine year old had spent her whole life in a dark mud hut. I have seen injustice. I have seen pain. And now I am lost.

I can no longer pretend that it will all be fine. That the cancer will be healed, that no one will have two wives again, that no more babies will be abandoned, instead it is just the opposite. People will continue to die of cancer. People will continue to abandon their children. But I have hope.

For I have seen babies abandoned and without hope thrive. I’ve seen the little nine year old, malnourished girl have to go on a diet. I have seen her laugh and giggle; I have seen her sit and learn to stand. I’ve seen lives touched by the boy deemed useless by society. Even though his body is crippled and bent, stiff and broken, hearts are softened and lives are changed. They are blessed by his smile as a gift from God. I’ve seen the blank stares of girls turn into laughing, beautiful friends. I’ve seen people being reunited. I’ve seen people courageously go out into the unknown to lay down their lives to serve, even if it may mean that they are faced with difficult people and situations, willing to give their all for God. I’ve seen hands raised in praise to the Most High God, hands that were once filled with grief and pain. I have seen freedom in the lives of those who have been held in a prison of fear. But, most of all, I have a God who sees every tear that falls, who comforts the broken-hearted and that transforms lives. I have seen pain, but I have also seen the grace of God.

And now I can rest, knowing and trusting that the hardships and the pain will end when we go to be with Him. I can rest, believing that He has it in His hands. I can rest, hoping for what’s to come, whether it is a joy or a struggle, because God is there with me through it all. I can rest in the hope of eternity with Him and the grace that God has given us through His Son. And He will sustain us all.